Friday was a splendid day spent working with two of my favorite organizations - Higher Ground and the BOLD program. Not only was I able to minister with good friends to some amazing 7th grade girls on a ropes course in Alabama, but I returned to Berry to teach new employees about our job! Beautiful if you ask me! I caught up with my philosophy professor before calling my Mom, took a much needed afternoon nap, and spent the evening with my wonderful housemates painting the town =). Homemade cookies were definitely in the mix.
Saturday was spent relaxing at the house gettin some BOLD details hashed out on the computer before spending a few more hours with my new employees teaching them a few more things. My lifelong roommate Kimmy and I ate at one of our favorite restaurants for lunch and I had the pleasure of spending some evening TV time with Steph before retiring for the night.
Sunday, today, is what makes this whole thing so interesting. Woke up this morning in plenty of time to get up and ready for church. Left a quiet house to be a part of a college group at the local Presbyterian church. I've been a part of this group for a few years now, and it continues to change. The students and the leaders of the group have both changed and it's still a great learning and growing experience. A true teaching of the Word and its' application to our lives. From there I walked down Broad St. to Connect Rome, or Church in a Bar as they are now tagged, a non-denominational church started last Spring while I was away. My friend Jeannene plays a large role in the church and I promised her I'd be by this Sunday for worship. The music wasn't quite my usual - I'm not the biggest fan of really loud music in close proximities, call me weird - but I appreciated the songs' meanings and the message was quite powerful. The type of message that calls you into action and makes you want to do something. Anything.
The pastor brought up a mission they are a part of, Shoes for Souls, with the charge that you could leave your shoes there to be donated to someone in need of shoes. Automatically, the picture in my head was of my chacos sitting in a shipping box by my townhouse door. I've been procrastinating about printing out a request for repair and shipping them off to the Chaco folks. I did not feel moved to leave the shoes I was wearing and instantly wondered if I would be judged for my decision. I felt guilty, almost thinking that it would all be settled if I got up in front and told everyone my plan and why I wasn't leaving my shoes at the altar. Weird. That's not necessary and I had no reason to feel guilty from the way the idea was presented. On top of that - what would it mean to God if I justified my calling from him (that told me to ship my chacos to Shoes for Souls once I returned home) in front of all these people? Seems like it might be me trying to prove myself or gain selfishly for telling everyone what "I was going to do." Odd. I wasn't sure how I felt as I left, as I said goodbye to my busy friend Jeannene and walked out with my shoes on, onto Broad St.
As I was contemplating my idea about shipping the Chacos I was trying to figure out why it was those shoes and not the ones on my feet that I needed to get rid of. It reminded me of a story we read in history of Christianity class two weeks ago: The Martyrdom of Perpetua. Perpetua was in jail for being a Christian. In jail she breast-fed her baby until he no longer needed her and then gave him over to her father. Her father pleaded with Perpetua to come home and obey his order to just accept the Roman law - for his sake, for her son's sake, for her sake. Perpetua boldly told her father that she was no longer his daughter, nor was she her son's mother. The only descriptor she would accept now was Christian, follower of Christ. It might seem far-fetched, I'm not sure. I see the chacos as one of those descriptors that Perpetua was letting go; when I wear them, they define me somehow. Why? I'm not sure, but I am sure that I have no need of that extra descriptor of who I am. I want to be content with being a follower of Christ - not a "granola" or whatever else someone who sees me wearing my chacos might call me. Thanks Perpetua. Not only did you give your life in the effort to shed light on the Truth, but you taught me a little bit more about what it means to live for the Truth, to live as a follower of Christ instead of whatever labels might be placed on me in this world.
Ok so the day continues. A friend Steph and I were planning on lunch after church just on the other side of Broad St. As the morning would have it, she slept through her alarm and wasn't able to make it on time- we talked on the phone and we planned to have a later lunch. I think that because of my feelings of inadequacy upon leaving church this interaction with my friend made me feel sad because I didn't think I meant enough to her for her to worry about waking up on time and meeting me for lunch. I walked back to my car and drove silently back to campus. After mulling this over in my head I knew that I just wanted to be honest about my feelings with Steph so that she could know. How else would she know how it made me feel when she didn't wake up in time to meet up with me? Exactly, she wouldn't, but I would. I told Steph how I felt and it made for an awkward situation, but after talking it out a little bit we wiped it away and had a great lunch. I wish I could say my whirlwind was over, but I haven't made a 360 yet...
The remainder of my day was spent in an apathetic mood trying to find motivation to do much of anything: study for a test tomorrow, exercise, clean up, etc. It wasn't until I was taking out the trash with Amanda that I said what I'd been feeling outloud. Amanda was exactly what I needed, thank the Lord. She mentioned that in a conversation with another friend, they realized how weird it was to be at Berry after spending an extended amount of time studying and living some place completely different. Amanda - Costa Rica, Jessica - Europe, and myself - California & Ecaudor. Of course, I just didn't put the two together- this has been weird and I miss last Spring in its' entirety very much. Thank you God for speaking through Amanda tonight.
Sorry for the long post - it was
a big weekend.
a big weekend.Here are some photos from my Labor Day adventures with my parents
This is my abode for the year. Please notice, not only do I have my infamous world map, but I've included my routed map of California from last semester's spring break. I'll be putting more routes on there some day!