the avenger

I was propelled safely by the avenger, Dodge that is, throughout my southeastern travels for the past 2 weeks.
My journey started by taking a long, beautiful train ride to San Diego where I was welcomed in by a dear friend, Leigh and her family. Can you get much better than wonderful company and veggie lasagna?
From there I flew eastward. The Farish-Willifords anxiously awaited my arrival to stay the weekend and catch up on life that has moved so quickly in the passing months since my last visit. They make up one of my many 'homes.'
The next week I stayed within North Carolina until the next weekend spent with Kerri Ann - who I've realized in a real way, is a kindred spirit. It might have been her mother that declared it so, and I whole-heartedly agree. It was a long overdue visit. The following week I continued southward, far enough to meet my 3year-old third cousin, McGinnis - ok, let's talk about overdue...
If you've read some previous blog posts of mine, I believe this idea has been a topic before so bear with me... Experiencing someone's home changes your relationship greatly. I will take that back and speak for myself, changes our relationship greatly.
Leigh in San Diego, F-dubs in Danville, Rachel in Asheville, Dee in Banner Elk, KA (and company) in Greenville, Cousin Marsha in Spartanburg, Aunt Gail in Aiken, and new friends Kaitlyn & Erica in Boiling Springs :)
When I get to see where someone lives, chat with them about real life, face to face, and rest in a place they've made home for me, if only for a night, I gain perspective. Their lives seem so much closer, more real in a way, and have an added specialness that we can share. With that said - I know I live transiently, but that's not to say that I (and my housemates) wouldn't love to have you over. Join us.
Speaking of joining folks - one of the many new relationships God put into my path is with a sweet professor at NGU, Bob. Bob has a dream, a vision if you will, for a future community-made family sharing life together and this caught me. Things like - bringing in foster children, growing necessary food, loving one another, and creating a place for growth and compassion let me know that we'll be in touch again in the future. Maybe he and his wife, along with myself and others will create this beautiful community in the mountains of North Carolina. I've had a few tastes of living in community, and am continuing that currently in a wonderful way, and I have to say that I believe in what I've found. The body of the Lord looks like this.

Enough for now... maybe more highlights from the road later in the week followed by a near future outlook :)

breathing

The past few weeks I've been given many chances to breathe. A few in particular...

Rejoicing with each rider in the Whitney Classic as they crossed the finish line with huge grins and an air of exhaustion mixed with great accomplishment.
My parents came to visit for a few days and finally laid eyes on my life here, as well as, a few of my favorite places in the Sierra. (photos to come)
A lunch date with a dear friend, sister if you will, and her husband - finally had the chance to meet him and hear of their journeys together. A well-timed blessing of listening ears and compassionate hearts.
Catching up on life with my dearest Katie Sue - always necessary and always refreshing.
Enjoying and basking in the shared silence of our own home with my housemate and great friend, Ben.
Evenings with the Agee women, finally sharing life together and cuddling with a beautiful little one.
Our first family night as a staff at our new house. Community-building and just a nice change from the office gatherings we have.
The alcove swing on El Cap - to be a little more accurate, I lost my breath. It was phenomenal. Swinging out at least 100ft over the Valley floor looking back at the largest granite monolith in the world and swimming through the crisp 65 degree air. I couldn't help but laugh.

I'm sure there were more, but those stuck out in my memory. Yes, times of being able to take a deep breath have happened. No, the world hasn't stopped moving ever so quickly. Work is just a going and the next few months will involve work and personal travel, visiting with strangers, friends and family, planning the next semester of work, fostering relationships, and keeping myself in good physical shape in the midst of it all. Oh, did I mention keeping nursery at least one Sunday? :) And driving across the country with Danae - the usual.

Today my eyes walked over two sections of the Bible. James 3 and Psalm 73 (thanks Laura). I seek wisdom and all of the characteristics that go with it. I was chatting with a friend this morning and it's so true that if we ever reach a time where we think we're not being taught something, it's simply because we're not realizing it. The learning never ends if you're seeking anything besides complacency. Learning is good and learning is hard. The end result (once you get there) is worth the mess that you feel in the midst. I'm sure of it. I can read my own accounts, in past journals, of benefits that came out of seasons of being taught really big things. I'm thankful for that. I'll let you know when I reach the conclusion and I'm changed for the better.

It'll be one of those good, deep breaths.

oh the knots

It's been a year and 3 months now since I moved. Not to discredit all of the traveling in between, but technically this has been my home for a bit. The end date of that reality is fuzzy and I'm ok with that. It's not time to leave.

The summer came and went in between now and my last post. Having more that just an instructor position this summer has proven to be a little consuming. When I'm not in the field, I'm in the office. I am thankful for my jobs (all at the same organization) and at the same time wondering when I'll slow down... does that happen again?

Last week Danae visited - a lot of firsts were had; as was a lot of great conversation, laughter, adventuring, and sitting. Even now it's hard to believe that such a great and dear friend who knows me from my life in Georgia was here, in California, getting a glimpse into my life here and the beauty that surrounds me. I couldn't be more thankful for that sweet time. It's interesting... I slept a ton, was with someone I can truly relax around, was loved on, and was given a chance to love - yet I still found myself pooped out. I guess living out of a car for a week and traveling all around trying to hit some really good spots will do it with the planner in me. It was nice though, not having to get every step planned beforehand and knowing that we would rather have it that way. Now when I tell stories of the people I share life with here, she'll know who I'm talking about. I like that.

I found myself just yesterday, saying that "if I can just get through this month, I'll be able to breathe." I don't really like the sound of that. I would rather not dread a single moment in life. My grandmother, such a sweet woman, said to never dread a year of your life; there might be some significant birthdays that people give special credit to like 16, 18, 21, 30, etc. but never dread a birthday. That exemplifies her spirit. No day is worthy of dread or of worry. I want to live in that Truth.

I have quite the month of September ahead, and yes plenty of details to forget and things to leave untended accidentally, but I'd like to hand that over tonight and be rid of the knots in my stomach. If you know me... you know I get joy out of doing things well - that usually includes organization, attention to detail, and a little something I am able to add to hopefully make it better than before. All of this takes effort that I want to exert and that wares me down after a while. I need more than myself here and I forget that.

Two things I'm looking forward to continuing:

1. I finally sat down with a needle and thread (for the second time this summer) a couple weeks ago and mended a couple purses, sewed on a few buttons, and got excited for sewing again. Yep - I want to continue the mending and move into creating as well.

2. Last night I had a breakthrough in the kitchen. Kelli meets the food processor. This relationship is just beginning and took way too long to happen. I made original/chickpea hummus followed by black bean hummus (thank you Libby) and finished the night with almond butter (a hint of salt and cinnamon). Wow. This year will be good for creating my own foods instead of buying pre-processed and tonight I've embarked on learning more about foods that help you cleanse. My body needs a little bit of that here lately.

I'll just say one more time how thankful I am for the friends I have the chance to share life with here. Recently found out that Ben will be sticking around longer than expected - he'll be a good addition to the off-season (not summer) community I've been provided here.

Here's me, trying to untie the knots - needing another hand.

deeply rooted

This post is one I never posted - from the very beginning of the summer...

"Come, let us return to the LORD"

It's quite incredible to realize that a year ago I was sitting in this very place probably scared out of my wits. It was a new home, 3000 miles from home, with people I had never met, in a place I wanted to know so badly. Now I'm here to welcome in the new members of our community and excitedly reunite with returning friends from all over the United States. We converge here, at Summit, in this small town right on the verge of wilderness. We've been brought here so specifically.

Excitement. Joy. Anxiousness. Butterflies. Peace. Awe.

All of those feelings come to the surface as late spring thunderstorms turn into broken clouds where blue shines through ready to bring in the summer. Once that change occurs - you'll find me dancing. I'm ready to sit out in the hammock without a down jacket and noticably see the rise of the lake as the snow in the high country melts.

After spending 3 weeks back in the eastern US I've returned to California and God has prepared me for this new season - and will continue preparing me I'm sure. Those 3 weeks were a treasure. I had time to sit on the couch with my parents, have lunch dates all over Georgia with many friends, go on bike rides & swims, and spend a weekend with family in sunny Florida. It was needed and refreshing. It was difficult to leave - bittersweet like usual. Especially when my mom decides to tell me that she's not ready for me to leave and almost cries at the airport as she hugs me goodbye. Good hugs - it felt good to be loved by people who know me.

Looking forward to this. Thankful. Breathing deeply.

the mosquitos are in

brendon - first time pulling over at tunnel view

dubie getting some height - oh jumping pictures

today started early... well, kind of. Quarter to 6 rolled around as we woke to see of Bekah. Her car was loaded, room cleaned out, and journey completely calculated - down to the campsite reservations. After waving goodbye on the steps of base beside April and Brendon, we crept our way back to bed. I lay there letting the reality of the morning sink in. ISAS spring 2011, closing; my first semester as the program coordinator and RD, completed; one more day and a half of responsibility and then time to reflect and relax. The reflection has begun.

springtime has arrived... the mosquitos are biting and folks are sneezing - thank you Oak trees. I look contentedly to the next season as I mourn the leaving of my two students and dear friends. A conversation with my boss today and the productivity of this past week has proved to be most encouraging.

The Lord gives us opportunities to trust, or grasp tightly to our own plans, to praise, or call it coincidence, to thank, or ignore his provisions, to cry out, or push away our need for him, to grow, or sit stagnantly in an easy place, to love, or contain the gift he's given us.

I choose to be in this hard place where the money's tight, the work is by the month, the numbers are low, the odds are against us, the office is quiet, and God is at work.

I ask to be put in situations that are cold, wet, painful, arduous, unknown, relentless, adventurous, scary, magnificent, awe-inspiring, and/or just plain stinky.

There are a few things my students learned this semester... if you don't get uncomfortable - you miss out on a lot of learning and growing; sure - in the midst of your adventurings, there will be times when you're wishing you were at home snuggled up by the electric heater - but really if you were at home instead you'd be wishing you were out adventuring; life goes fast - say it like you mean it and it's not worth it to pass up opportunities even if they make you stretch.

3 much needed weeks of vacation back east to come. It's been a while since I've hugged my family - I'm ready for that.

I'm also ready for a few days devoted to going off to a quiet place - I have no doubt that some alone-time is in my plans. That became clear the other day and I don't know where or when but I'm excited about it.

oh the sweet unexpected

Ever since returning from Ecuador the sweet unexpected has been abundant. After settling back into my home in Bass Lake, the snow moved in and the power went out. This meant another move - my boss and his family regained power more quickly than I, so my students and I moved in. I was there for about a week. The beautiful times spent cooking as a family, chatting with Carey in the evenings, and quiet mornings with coffee, my friendly journal, and the Word are irreplaceable. What I didn't realize during this fun-filled visit was the toll it was having on my weariness. I was ready to get to my own bed and into a schedule again. The following week norm creept back in as we had class times and work days followed by ski adventures and good friend-time. Well... normal is an interesting term around here. This past week was more on the normal side and filled with cooky weather, home projects and community time with Nols & Colleen, family and friends at Graham & Sarah's, and some much needed conversations with best friends! :) As I get more and more adjusted to life here, I'm planning for 16 days in the best (and pretty dang cold) home a girl could ask for... the wilderness. The students, Ben and I will be embarking on quite the snow-filled adventure April 15-30. Pray for safety, discernment, and learning if you think about us. What I mean by adjusting to life here, is that I'm finding relationships with people in this community that I want to continue to pursue... I play ultimate or whatever else comes up in the park in town on beautiful afternoons... I catch up with friends at the local coffee shop regularly, unscheduled... and I find myself torn when it comes to missing church on Sundays. The last thing, about church on Sundays, was part of the sweet unexpectedness of this season. Looking forward... immediately there are inevitably things we cannot expect to find on our expedition until we get there... in the near future there are aspects about this summer at Summit that I'm not sure what to envision... in the near distant future I'm continually unsure of the sweet unexpected changes of the roof over my head and company on my paycheck. God I will wait for you. and it is important for all of my readers to know that I am loved by Katie Sue!!!! -thanks to my underwrite, Katie Sue Burns

such a sweet time

It's my last few days in Ecuador and the bittersweetness is setting in.
It has been an incredibly sweet time of meeting new people, fostering existing relationships, opening myself up to learn and to teach, and being willing to move a little more freely.

Right now I'm house sitting the guesthouse that has been like a home to me during my time in Ecuador. The missionaries that operate the guesthouse are traveling with a group from the states down south and needed someone to stick around, cook breakfast, take care of things and after a few other couples fell through they came to me. Not only was I honored to be asked, but also incredibly excited to be able to give to others the same hospitality I've been given. Day 2 of my housesitting adventure, the day my students were packing up to leave the country, I came down with a horrific bout of food poisoning and had to lean on others to get the day's duties done. That was difficult... I didn't know whether or not the sickness would go away by the next day, but was praying that it was simply food poisoning and nothing else. Thankfully I woke up the next morning with the sun at 6:15am without any nausea - I walked around all morning singing "praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise him all creatures here below..." one of my favorite parts of the church service back home.

I spent the day cleaning up the house and taking it easy with Bryce, April and Ben up the hill. The last Ecuador course of the season is here and we'll all be out of the country by the end of next week. I'm thankful for our community that we've had this season in Ecuador.

The other day, the ISAS students and I were taking a half day to process their time here in Ecuador and prepare them to re-enter the states. I am continually astounded by the ways that God is teaching them incredibly big things through our experiences and that I'm able to be a part of that. After the students finished sharing Bekah looked and me and said "Kelli, I want to know what you're taking home from Ecuador, what God's been teaching you..." I was surprised and really glad at the same time not only that she and Brendon were interested, but that I was being challenged to process my time here as well. What I've continually been reminded of during my time here is the intricate way that God prepares us. This learning started last spring when I was training for a triathlon with Al & Ali. At that point I realized the importance of my physical preparation for the upcoming summer. These past 6 weeks I've seen many of the ways that I've been prepared to hold this job and to lead these students in this capacity. No wonder I fell in love with this place and what Summit does in this program 2 years ago as a student...

I'll be continuing my processing the next couple days as I visit friends and families here in Ecuador to say so long.

grace returned

So I never got around to why grace was on my mind during that last post...
Lately I've been trying to hear what the Lord has to say to me about showing and receiving grace. Most specifically, for myself. I have a much easier time showing grace to others than I do allowing myself to receive it, whether that be from myself or others. The past 2-3 years God's been continually showing me the importance of showing myself grace and I think that I'm closer to having that ability than I once was, but am still working on it. Being at high altitude climbing a galciated volcano is a physical place where I seek this personal grace. I know it's going to be a struggle and I expect it, and along the way I continually remind myself that I have a body to be thankful for and abilities to praise God's name for as well. It's a humbling experience watching yourself struggle - whether or not others are struggling along side.
I am continually thankful for the grace that my students have for me as I sometimes feel like I'm stumbling through all the details of the semester.

This (and some reading I'm doing in a book called Radical by David Platt) has moved me into trying to picture the Spirit abiding in me and others. The past month I've been reading and re-reading John 17 and Jesus' prayers for his disciples and the believers he is about to leave. Jesus asks God to leave with us the Spirit, our guide, and along with that comes the possibility that we can all abide in the fruits of the Spirit. In prayer I want to ask for the Spirit in whatever capacity I might need, rather than just asking God to do something for me. For instance: the other day we were climbing a just shy of 19,000ft peak and I wanted to continue to have strength and the physical ability to go on - I kept thinking about how I need God to provide strength in me because I have none of my own and I realized that I needed the power of the Spirit, therefore I would have strength.
I'm not sure if that makes a whole lot of sense, but it's something that I'm seeking out right now.

Today we're in a town south of Quito, called Banos. My day has consisted of walking around the whole town, reading a couple chapters in a book, eating some tasty lunch, working on some logistical stuff, and responding to friends emails and such. I'm kind of bummed that I could go hike, run, or swim today because my stomach is feeling kind of lousy - but I'm sure a day of rest is what I needed for some reason. That's hard to accept sometimes.
3 weeks have past and 3 weeks left to go for the students here in Ecuador. Praying for continued development of relationships - with themselves, with eachother, and with God.

grace

I've sat quietly for the past hour after dinner listening to the mummurings of students' voices in the distant kitchen. I can't understand the words and that's ok.

My 3rd week in Ecuador has begun. Week 1 was reuniting with the city, with friends Ben & Bryce, and with the loving home we have at the OMS guesthouse here in Quito. Week 2 makes me smile - the students embarked on their first homestays with Ecuadorian families and spent the days at la fundacion Davis where Ben & I lived. Everyday I struggled to pull myself out of bed and eat breakfast in one of the homes at the orphanage at 6am. In this same home at 1pm I joined them for lunch followed by chores, homework, games, and usually a pretty peaceful afternoon before 6pm rolled around and I was beckoned for dinner at my new home. One afternoon Ben & I decided to join the group of kids outside playing. At one point in time I was running my heart out listening to the laughter of Maria trying to catch me and trying to hold in my laughter in order to keep breathing! As I ran past Ben and Cesar, Ben asked me what the word for enjoy is - disfrutar, the verb to enjoy. Quite correctly, Ben was telling Cesar how he and I both enjoy life at la fundacion Davis. For me - it is a place that I find joy, I am challenged, I struggle to understand the lives of orphaned children, and where I am able to love and be loved.

It's currently pouring buckets of rain in Quito and I'm loving it... the smell, the sound, the calmness of it all. I'm going to end this post now because I want to go sit on the porch for a bit. More later :)

ecuador

Nope, we're not there yet...
The 2 ISAS students (B&B) and I were supposed to be on our way to Ecuador this morning, but I received a call last night telling me that because of dense fog - we couldn't get to LA, our first stop. We're all rescheduled (and seated together this time) for tomorrow at oooh, dark thirty. At first panic struck when I heard the recording on the other end of the receiver, but then I started processing what this meant: another day to talk to family, another morning to spend at the coffee shop in town (thankfully running into many friends that I really wanted to see and will miss), time to pray and prepare a little bit more for the days that lie ahead, the opportunity to run the errands I was going to be reluctantly leaving for someone else, and some pretty joyous laughter and ease of mind last night as the students and I put off packing a little longer.
The more days go by, the longer I ponder and reflect on the happenings of this world, I am awestruck and confused and enamored by God. So un-knowable. I'm thankful and scared all at once. Bekah and I came to this: I can only pray that God will share His vision with me, that I may be privy to the will of God for this world and that eternity will be my focus, rather than this temporary place in which we dwell that feels so real.
I do not doubt I (or we) needed this day. I didn't know it and really didn't expect it, but am so glad our plans were shook and today was a breath of fresh (Oakhurst) air.
So tomorrow we will begin our journey in Ecuador. Something about that makes my heart skip a beat - there's part of me there that I look forward to discovering more about. I'm excited to share another place that I care for with B&B, for them to experience whatever it is God has in store for them there, and to be open to the work that is going to occur in myself, in B&B, and in those we encounter.

A little update on the past few weeks:
-the students, as I mentioned before, have arrived and we've jumped right into classes and figuring out life together. Brendon and Bekah.
-no time was a-wasted! we've already been winter camping and cross country skiing for 4 days - we visited Ostrander Lake, about 10 miles out of Badger Pass inside Yosemite. It was my first experience skiing on top of a snow-covered frozen lake and I have to say I was speechless! By far the best skiing.
-we've had a few 'family nights' of dinner and good conversation with the Summit staff and the students. Usually one of the highlights of the week.
-I say one of the highlights, because for me - a major highlight is my Katie Sue time each week, my dear friend who I absolutely cherish my time with. We went on a hike up to Chilnualna Falls last week on our day off.

A common theme in my prayers right now is preparedness. Asking to be and then trusting in the Lord that I am prepared in proportion to my students' needs, the needs of my job, and my own needs. Prayers for continued growth, safety, health, and love within my students and I, as well as the Summit instructors currently in Ecuador (Ben & Bryce) are always warranted.

I'll toss some photos up next time. Until then, cuidate mis amigos.

settling?

I've made it back. I left the southeast full of family, good'ole friends, and laziness and landed out west only to find another family of mine, work to be done, and coziness to be created. Not to mention, the motivation to do all of the above.

There's something about the place from whence I've come... it brings me to a state of laziness and subtracts all of the motivation I know I have - I don't enjoy that. It was fine and dandy to return to my parents house during a break in college and bum around playing donkey kong until 2am with my dad... (ok so that's never a problem) but when I find myself crawling out of bed to make lunch I see a change needs to happen. Here's the change - fly away.

the warmth is indescribable - I love it (most days). the heat source for my home in bass lake, california - by most people, it's known as base. hmm... graham is driving me back from the airport, or is it murphy? this can't be safe, much less legal. but one thing is true- I brought sunshine to california, look at that sky!

my companions. new years fling up to asheville, nc? yes please. I love them.

the house my mom first lived in - asheville, nc - the continuation of following my ancestry kyler, graduating from my alma mater - berry college - such a joyous friend!

same day, same place, steph graduated too - you'll never know what you'll get with this spontaneous and spunky lady

I love cooking, especially when it's with people I love this much...

I sat down one day and completed an idea that katie & I had a few months ago... who knows if my students will like them - but it's just big enough to hold air-travel essentials and not be a wallet. It was fun and it fueled my crafti-ness.

As I look out into my near future the feelings come flooding in. thankful. joyous. excited. scared. anticipatory. inadequate. hopeful... It doesn't seem possible for all of these to be milling around the same person in the same day, but it surely is. I'm so doggone pumped about this semester to come and can only pray that God has prepared me for all I am about to embark on and prepared the hearts of my students to be open to what God wants to do in their lives through the next 5 months. Feel free to pray that as well.

There's this thing I struggle with, grace. I am much more likely to have grace for others rather than myself. I want to grow. I want to change. I want to become more a Christ-like person. I want to find out more about who I am made to be. - just thinking about that gets me all excited.

There are some things that make my heart leap. You know the feeling, right? Makes you want to go run, or laugh out loud, or hug an old friend, or dance. Well, here are some of those things, the things that make my heart leap:

-reunions with friends and/or family.

-beauty that is incomprehensible, usually in the sky, or in someone else's joy.

-ecuador. being there. praying for there. thinking of all that is happening there. introducing others to it and sharing my love for it.

-realising that I am loved. by my maker and by those who share in that love.

-special ties with special people. like a handmade scarf or a letter written.

I think I'll be here for a little while. It's an interesting thought; scary in it's own right, but I'm trusting. Pray for how things change, the things we cannot see until they are sitting at our doorstep - even if it's our doorstep that's changing. This makes my heart leap, for I know that good is going to come of it, as will challenge and struggle, therefore so will strength.

Hmm, settling in.